Blended Not Shaken Ministries and Publications

Christian step/single parent and blended families ministry.

Tips for blended families

My husband Tony and I have been blending our step family since December 2006 and are both joyful and thankful to be celebrating 15 years of marriage by God’s grace this year. For those who don’t know our story, we were both single parents when we met. We are both strong Christians. We received sound counselling and sought godly wisdom from those we trusted. We have sought to raise our blended family using biblical principles and encourage others in the same situation to follow our example. While we haven’t always gotten it right (just ask our 4 children!), our heart’s desire is to honour the Lord through our lives and family and pray others do the same. The books I have written and continue to write for single and step parent families are a ministry to this group of people in the Christian community.

Below are 11 tips we offer to those who are seriously considering blending a new family or who are already a blended family looking for advice.

1.Keep the Lord at the centre of your marriage and family

2.Be stable, consistent and gracious with all your children

3.Realise you are responsible for your own household

4.Spend quality time with your biological children

5.Foster healthy relationships with your step children

6.Give your children the freedom to love both parents

7.Stay positive when talking of the other parent (your ex)

8.Provide safe, predictable and brief handovers/handbacks

9.Give children grace in the transition between households

10.Ensure your home has routine, structure and organisation

11.Create new family traditions and memories

2 Responses

  1. Thank you. I relate to this. I only wish we had looked into how to blend BEFORE marriage. We were so focused on US we just assumed kids would just go along with it. It’s not bad but not ideal. Would love to know if it’s not too late to do better, and step we can take to correct it

    1. Hello Miriam,

      Thank you for your comment. I agree that the more preparation you and your spouse can invest before re-marriage, the better. That’s the ideal but often Christians re-marrying have short engagements and are (naturally) a little caught up in the excitement of it all, they fail to do their research. I believe that good re-marriage courses are the way to go if they are available and are led by a couple who have re-married and are blending their family, having done so for a few years to offer help through their own experience. But, to answer your question, it’s never too late to do better. First and foremost, re commit your marriage and blended family to the Lord. Commit to praying for your marriage and family regularly. Speak to the kids and allow time for them to honestly express how they are faring and feeling. Resolve to do all things the Lord’s way and be consistent at it. Find other Christian couples in a similar situation if you can. Talk to your pastor and others to pray for your family as well. This is what Tony and I have done. These strategies have helped us. I pray they help you too! It can, with the Lord’s help, get better! Blessings…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *