A few days ago, my husband and I made the decision that, once and for all, I would no longer accept any relief teaching work but would follow what the Lord directed me to do nearly 4 years ago- not to use relief teaching as a form of income but to rely on God and His provision as I step out to strengthen my faith and see which direction He was leading me in. Not surprisingly, since the conception of Blended not Shaken Ministries and Publications in 2014, I have needed to exercise my faith ‘muscles’ and trust God for every opportunity, every piece of funding, every invitation to speak about the new ministry and to share my testimony and every form of support that’s needed to begin any new venture. But this occurred along side my teaching work and I was never at peace about it. I sensed my heart was divided and that I was clinging to the need to still be defined as a “teacher”. My mind said that by working as a teacher it ‘made sense’ in the natural and was sensible.But I was wrestling within. I believed deep down that I was not being completely obedient to what the Lord had said to me a few years before so that, in my mind along with what I’ve read about in scripture, equated to DIS-obedience. When I completed a Cert. IV in Christian Ministry and Theology 18 months ago, I sensed strongly then that I was to pursue the steps needed to become a pastor but had no idea what that would entail. Yet I was certain about 2 things:
1. Any pastoral work I did would be specialised towards those I was already ministering to, i.e single and step parents and their families and
2. Any pastor credentials would not be confined to one denomination and my local church but would also extend to other Christian contexts like education and counselling.
But when nothing tangible came my way directly after completing my studies (as I wrongly assumed it would), I did a Peter and “went back to fishing”. Any time that we take matters into our own hands, live in deliberate sin and make carnal and foolish assumptions,”the peace that the passes all understanding” alludes us. It really is the safest and most sensible to be in God’s will for you at all times. So, when the decision was finally made last Sunday night and that I was now released from the obligation of having to relief teach, I felt a burden lift and a peace return that for the past few days I have been cherishing. I still have NO idea what the future holds for me and the implications of such on my family and our future except that..
“Those who trust the Lord shall not lack any good thing.” (Psalm 34:10b) and “…will never be put to shame.” (Psalm 25:3)
I also know that “Without faith it is impossible to please Him”
(Hebrews 11:6) and “The righteous shall live by faith.” (Romans 1:17, Galatians 3:11, Hebrews 10:38)
And I desire that these scriptures define what my life looks like from now on. It’s not that I’ve been completely out of God’s will until this point nor lived by faith before because I have, but I am excited about deepening the faith I already possess and walk from teaching into pastoring. Now many may argue that they are one in the same and that you can minister to everyone anywhere you are and in whatever vocation you are in. That is true. Yet I used this valid argument for the past 18 months and it did not bring ME peace because it was not what God had told ME to do.
I pray for those reading this blog that you would seek the Lord for what is His will for your life in this current season and learn to grow deeper in your faith, enjoying to the fullest the safety of trusting God in every facet of your life and the peace of following Him wholeheartedly. It’s an amazing ride- that’s for sure!