The longer I’m on this earth, the more convinced I am that there are too many people who are hurting in one or many ways and for a myriad of reasons. Because Blended Not Shaken Ministries exists to specifically help those children and their parents who are hurting due to a failed marriage and are now navigating the often cruel and unknown waters of single and step parenting, living between 2 (or more as in some cases) homes and feeling caught in the middle of their parents hostility, I come across many dear folk who are the walking wounded and are struggling to see a hopeful end to their hurting and grieving.
Make no mistake – the end of a marital relationship with children from that union is more painful and heart wrenching than losing a loved one in death. It is compounded by the added guilt and condemnation that is sometimes put on them (either personally or by others) if they are Christians. Such parents of a failed marriage are fully aware that scriptures are clear that God hates divorce and that unless they can prove that their failed marriage ended because of adultery or abandonment, their separation and impending divorce will be downplayed and they will be either encouraged to reconcile or remain celibate. For people to suggest, however well meaning they may think they are, that ‘it is easy to separate and get divorced these days’, has NO idea what they are saying and have certainly not gone through this harrowing hurt themselves.
Added to the very unhelpful and ungracious comments is the painful reality that parents and their precious children are living on a daily basis. Here are some –
*Loss of the family unit
*Loss of the familiar
*Loss of sense of security
*Loss of the family home
*Fear of the near and distant future
*Change of residence
*Possible- change of schools, change of location, use of lawyers, interacting with police, experience with the family law court….
And the list goes on and on…
This list which is unfortunately not an exhaustive one, equals A LOT OF HURT. Hurts from these factors can very possibly render a person emotionally crippled if not permanently scarred for the rest of their days.
But THANKFULLY, the God that I worship and serve, my very gracious and extremely loving heavenly Father longs to meet each hurting person whether man, woman or child at their point of need and provide a healing so complete and miraculous that such would baffle the minds of the most skeptical critic.
From my own experiences of two failed marriages as a Christian, the grief over how two of my children would be affected by having divorced parents and how our future might look, I needed the Lord’s healing from the heavy hurts I was carrying. In fact, leaning into Him through daily devotional time, much prayer and pressing in to His precious Word – the Bible were the keys needed to gain healing and regain my hope. Although it was necessary to also receive professional Christian counselling and stay connected to other like minded Christian people and attend a grace filled church, it was God Himself who met me at my point of great need, healed me from my hurt and very importantly -restored my HOPE.
Here are just a few of the beautiful passages of scripture that the Lord comforted me with during my most painful season and helped bring hope to my soul.
“All your children shall be taught of the Lord and great will be the peace of your children.” Isaiah 54:13
“The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord and He delights in his way. Though he fall he shall not be utterly cast down;For the Lord upholds Him with His hand.” Psalm 37:23-24
“The Lord will restore to you the years that the swarming locusts have eaten…You shall eat in plenty and be satisfied, and praise the name of the Lord your God, who has dealt wondrously with you.” Joel 2:25-26
“I would have lost heart unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait on the Lord. Be of good courage and He shall strengthen your heart.” Psalm 27:13-14
“We are hard pressed on every side but not crushed, perplexed but not in despair, persecuted but not forsaken, struck down but not destroyed.” 2 Corinthians 4:8-9
“..we also glory in all our sufferings because we know that suffering produces perseverance, perseverance produces character and character, hope. And this hope does not disappoint because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.” Romans 5:3-5
To hope in God – especially when you are hurting, will NEVER be in vain. To hope that God will heal you and your children is a reality, not a pipe dream. You are not engaging in wishful thinking or positive vibes that are in and of themselves pitifully insignificant when compared to hoping in God alone. You need to believe by faith that what He says of Himself in the scriptures and what He desires for you as His children is totally true and utterly trustworthy. The Bible is not a fairy tale of fanciful feel good quotes. The Bible, although scribed by men, was written by God and is the primary way He speaks to His people today. Never underestimate the power of the words in scripture nor of their relevance for today and for your specific situation.
For those who are deeply hurting and are desperate for renewed hope, I would encourage you to:
Read your Bible every day.
Use scripture in your prayers.
Memorize scripture for use against the devil when he accuses you and seeks to rob you of hope and doubt that God can heal you. (Remember that the Word of God is your sword for wielding)
My prayer is that you experience the God of all Hope and Healing in your life just as I have in mine and can then use your healed hurt and renewed hope to help others too.