Blended Not Shaken Ministries and Publications

Christian step/single parent and blended families ministry.

A walk down memory lane

Across the world, we recently celebrated the signing of the Armistice on 11/11 at the 11th hour, to mark the momentous day World War 1 ended. And November 2019 seems to be the month for remembrance for me in other ways. This year marks 30 years since graduating year 12. (It was called Matriculation then.) A couple of months ago, a small number of us from the Class of ’89 created a reunion committee to help plan events that would be memorable for our class mates as well as with staff and board members around in 1989. A tour of our school with an afternoon tea and a catch up with teachers, other staff and board that can attend followed by a student only dinner that evening is what has been organised. I am looking forward to it. That is, for the most part I am. When taking a walk down memory lane, you remember both the good and the bad of your past. You remember what kind of person you were. You remember how you were treated by others. You remember events that you weren’t happy you experienced. When taking a walk down memory lane, I’ve been reminded of a number of important lessons.

ONGOING FORGIVENESS

In reminiscing about my past, it has actually reminded me that I may need to forgive all over again. Forgive others AND forgive myself. Old wounds, now healed, can still ache at times. I’ve read that amputee victims can often feel the amputated limb long after it’s gone.This analogy is not dissimilar with ongoing forgiveness. I know I have forgiven those who have mistreated me. I know I am a better person today than I was back then. It is natural and it is okay to feel the hurt of times past. But it’s not okay to stay in that hurt. It breeds bitterness. It’s both immature and dangerous to be ruled by your feelings. Yet, to help combat this, I continue to realise my mind needs ongoing renewing. I need to fill my mind with what actually renews it. And that is His Word- the scriptures. I must commit His words to memory then ask the Holy Spirit to connect this head knowledge to my heart- my inner person-the part of me God is sanctifying daily until Jesus returns or until He takes me home. Such renewing is a daily and necessary part of the process of ongoing forgiveness.

BUILDING FAITH

When being reminded of the past, we can choose to remember all the Lord has done for us. We can look back and see where He has provided for us, protected us, sustained us and never left us. Such reminders of God’s goodness and grace- that we do not deserve, should build our faith in our faithful God. The One who is ‘the same yesterday,today and forever’ will continue to be there with us and is for us both now and into eternity.

GROWING GRATITUDE

Where would I be today if not for the Lord? I shudder to think of my life without God’s salvation, redemption, forgiveness and ongoing sanctification. A life without a personal relationship with my heavenly Father and Creator, my Savior Jesus, who is my best friend and the Holy Spirit as my Guide and Counsel? When looking back, I am SO grateful He was walking beside and before me. I see how He was using the good and bad parts (people and events) in my life to make me more like Him…and hopefully a better person now at 47 than at 17.

INCREASING HUMILITY

We all struggle with pride.Some believe it was pride that showed itself as the first sin back in the Garden of Eden. We can easily become proud of our achievements, proud of how well we got through horrendous times in our lives, proud of how far we’ve come in life. But pride pushes out God. It relegates Him to our accessory rather than our Lord.It negates the fact that every human is nothing without God. In a world that elevates self like never before and such idolatry of self is seen in countless Christians as well (and unfortunately in leaders and pastors too), this puts us in a perilous situation. We put ourselves ahead of God. It’s like people now see themselves as demi- gods and treat themselves as such.They forget all that God is and all that God has done.

After my pity party the other day, nursing my old wounds, I needed to repent and remember what the Bible says about my past and the absolute sovereignty of God. I needed to thank God for ALL of my past and for all He did in and through and for me at that time. I needed to again be reminded it’s actually not about me at all. I still worry too much about what others think of me. That has to stop. Instead, I should only be concerned about what the Lord says about me and whether or not HE is being seen through me.

So.. our 30 year reunion should be interesting. I hope it’s fun and worthwhile and not too awkward. But whatever happens, the planning and anticipation of the event has been good for me in ways that I hope will carry me to our 40 class reunion…

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TESTIMONIALS

What people say?

My Two Houses was one of my favourite books as a younger person. It helped me understand how I was feeling about having two homes. I feel as though Karina’s books have simplified a confusing situation, in a way for all ages to understand.

Charlotte

There is affirmation and encouragement to single dads and mums through “Let’s shout out to single dads” and “Sing a song to single mums”, anchoring their value, peace and endurance in the Word of God.

Librarian

Clear, fun explanations in “My family bush” of hard to decipher terms like half-brother and half-sister, full brother or sister, step-parent and how they connect to the relationships within a family.  Relating that to Jesus’ own family could be a revelation to children that their own family structure is not so different after all, that families who love and care for each other are part of God’s plan, no matter how they are made up.

Librarian

One step at a time: a step family journal“ is an honest, humorous yet life and faith affirming read for those approaching and in middle years. The use of illustrations in the text make it appealing and engaging.

Librarian

Karina’s books are very helpful when you struggle to relate to a child of separated or divorced parents when you haven’t experienced this yourself. I have quietly read or given time for a child to read one of the books and then wait for their responses. I find Karina’s books extremely helpful in my ministry to children.

Chaplain

I am often in awe of God’s amazing timing! My morning began with feelings of despair over a family relationship that had broken down. I poured out my heart to the Lord, seeking His comfort and guidance. A short time later there was a knock on my door and the postie handed me a package. It was Karina’s book “Sing a Song to Single Mums”. As I read, I came across a page that spoke directly to my situation!

Even down to the illustration! My day ended with renewed hope in God’s promise that He works all things… good things and bad things… together, for the good of those who love Him. I am so thankful to Karina for writing such a beautiful book and for the Lord’s timing in delivering it into my hands precisely when I needed to read it!

Single Mum

Caught in the Middle is one of my favourite books because, whenever I read it, I feel close to God.

River

I read My Two Houses with my entire Year 5 class. They loved it! It began a wonderful conversation which allowed many students to be vulnerable enough to be open about their feelings and situations at home as well as to a better understanding of what some of their classmates go through with divorced parents.

Primary Teacher

I have used My Two Houses with a 13-year boy during one of my sessions with him. He loved that he could relate so well with the book, stating, “That’s just like me” and I could see a change in his demeanour and body language in his knowing that there are other kids out there, just like him.

School Counselor

As a nuclear family, we love that the books contain so much scripture in teaching our children God’s word.

Ces, Father of 5, Pastor

Karina’s books give children permission to have their feelings validated and provide comfort and healing to their souls.

Tania

When it comes to blending 2 families together or doing it by yourself there are a number of unique issues.  If you find yourself in a role as a single parent, stepparent or trying to help siblings navigate their new situation it can be very tough.   

We at Focus on the Family Australia, want to help relationships and families  be as healthy as they can be.  We know it is not an easy task unifying 2 families or doing it solo.  

We highly recommend Blended Not Shaken Ministries to help provide some tools to cultivate a loving, blended or single parent home to achieve a sense of unity in your new family. 

Brett Ryan, CEO Focus on the Family Australia